Musings | Food for Thought . . .

18 Dec

Each evening when I leave class, I see several signs outside of the student Evangelical organizations advertising “Free Food, Thursday Night,” or “Pizza Night: Free to All Students.” I wonder what the conversation is like that leads to the decision to give away food:

Evangelical 1: Ya know, we need to attract more student followers.
Evangelical 2: Well, why don’t we invite our fellow students to talk.
Evangelical 1: That’s a great idea. We can put out a sign.
Evangelical 3: One problem. We’re not fun. Noone will come.
Evangelical 1: We’re fun.
Evangelical 3: Other students like to dance, drink, and smoke. We don’t do any of that.
Evangelical 2: Well, what do we do that’s fun?
SILENCE
Evangelical 1: I can make a really good casserole.
Evangelical 2: What’s your point?
Evangelical 3: You’re on to something – what is something every student wants?
Evangelical 2: To be converted?
Evangelical 3: No, silly. They all want food.
Evangelical 2: ohhhhh. And if we give them food, they will come and see how cool we are!
Evangelical 3: umm. We still won’t be cool. But we can seduce them with the food. It can be free.
Evangelical 1: Isn’t seduction a sin?
Evangelical 2: But this is seduction in the name of a higher purpose. .
Evangelical 1: But what if homeless people want our food? You know, my mother told me that most of them are drunks.
Evangelical 2: You’re right. We don’t want those kinds of sinners. No drunks or homeless. And no Catholics or Muslims – they’re impossible to convert.
Evangelical 3: Well, shouldn’t we help the homeless?
Evangelical 1: No, that would be charity. We’re dealing with conversion – like in Africa.
Evangelical 2: Ok. So we seduce poor, hungry college students with free food – what kind?
Evangelical 3: Kool-aid!
Evangelical 2: ummm . . . that might be a little harsh.
Evangelical 1: I can make a really good casserole!
Evangelical 2: Ok. Agreed. We put up a sign that says “Free Food.”
Evangelical 3: And write “for Students.” No homeless drunks.
Evangelical 1: Can we pray now.
Evangelical 2: Yeah.. God, please help the sinner in my class who wears mini-skirts, my professor who talks about evolution, my brother who reads Harry Potter, . . . . . .

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4 Responses to “Musings | Food for Thought . . .”

  1. Anaka Johnston December 19, 2006 at 1:07 PM #

    great idea! i’m working on it!

  2. Anaka Johnston December 19, 2006 at 1:07 PM #

    great idea! i’m working on it!

  3. Anonymous January 17, 2007 at 6:11 AM #

    All those of the evangelical persuasion use food as a way of recuiting new members as shown in this example: (true story; I am a kindergarden teacher)

    My class was working on a lesson in world religions . I asked the students to bring something related to their family’s faith to show and tell.

    The following day the students came forward and shared with the other students.

    The first child said “I am a Muslim and this is my prayer rug.”

    The second child said, “I am Jewish and this is my Star of David.”

    The third child said, “I am Catholic and this is my Rosary.”

    The evangelical child said, “I am Southern Baptist and this is my casserole dish.”

    (Yes, this story is old, but still fits the evangelicals.)) A quiet chuckle would appreciated.

    The ALCU received a complaint due to my tampering with church & state. I am in prison, and you can
    e mail me there should you be so inclined.

  4. Anonymous January 17, 2007 at 6:11 AM #

    All those of the evangelical persuasion use food as a way of recuiting new members as shown in this example: (true story; I am a kindergarden teacher)My class was working on a lesson in world religions . I asked the students to bring something related to their family’s faith to show and tell.The following day the students came forward and shared with the other students.The first child said “I am a Muslim and this is my prayer rug.”The second child said, “I am Jewish and this is my Star of David.”The third child said, “I am Catholic and this is my Rosary.”The evangelical child said, “I am Southern Baptist and this is my casserole dish.”(Yes, this story is old, but still fits the evangelicals.)) A quiet chuckle would appreciated.The ALCU received a complaint due to my tampering with church & state. I am in prison, and you cane mail me there should you be so inclined.

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