El Paso: Its own brand of Texas

1 Jun

A friend of mine sent me an e-mail entitlted “You Know You’re From Texas When . . .” It was quite funny, but I had a hard time relating; yes, I am a Texan, but I’m from El Paso, Texas, which is a country all of it’s own compared to the rest of the country of Tejas. Thus, I’ve written my own version:

You Know You’re from El Paso, Texas when . . .

1. The bars on your windows are painted to match your house, as is the heavy gate around your front door.
2. You have no need for a lawnmower, as your front yard is comprised of rocks.
3. You have several fake college IDs that you made by ironing rough pieces of plastic together over your highschool id picture.
4. These IDs actually worked at bars in Mexico when you were 16 years old.
5. The name Jesus shows up in your highschool yearbook more than it shows up in the Bible.
6. You have performed the chicken dance at more than three Quinceaneras.
7. You have been lost in the middle of the desert on more than one occasion while attempting to attend a late night bonfire.
8. Menudo was served in your highschool for breakfast.
9. When you greet your friends, parents’ friends, strangers, neighbors and anyone except the postman, you kiss them on the cheek.
10. When someone says, “I’ll ‘drive by’ your house later tonight,” you go home, lock all doors, turn off all lights, and lay on the floor far away from any windows.
11. You may be the only Texan never to have been in a tornado, but have missed school or work because a treacherous dust storm has knocked out electricity city-wide.
12. You have scratches and scrapes on your legs from being caught outside in such a dust storm.
13. You’ve never heard of “central air,” but “swamp coolers” make perfect sense to you.
14. You eat tortillas with almost every meal, and warm them by using the gas on the stove-top.
15. Instead of going to the lake or beach for a memorial day picnic, you go to the giant mountain of rocks a few miles outside of town.
16. When you fly into Houston or Dallas, you think the pilot has made an emergency landing on a golf course.

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5 Responses to “El Paso: Its own brand of Texas”

  1. Anonymous June 1, 2007 at 5:14 AM #

    OK, you missed one:
    – You know you’re from El Paso when it’s an inside joke to answer the phone “Chico’s Tacos!”

  2. Anonymous June 4, 2007 at 5:53 AM #

    Too funny. I think I’m borderline Texan and El Pasoan. But, I’m from the grand state of Cali. Any room for us in either country?????

  3. Courtney June 4, 2007 at 2:29 PM #

    So, I’m pretty confident in saying I know I’m from Louisiana b/c I have no clue what “menudo” is and have never been to a quincenera – and obviously don’t know how to spell it 🙂 This is why you like me though, right???

  4. HayZeuS June 6, 2007 at 1:46 PM #

    Your first place to take a visitor is to Chicos tacos!

    You see women sporting the latest “Louie Valdez” (a knock-off slang term for fake louie vuitton).

    You see men acting they are making 100k a year but actually earning just above minimum wage.

    I would create a blog like what do people assume when you tell them you’re from Texas.

    People around the country think we live like the 80’s soapie “DALLAS”, and forget telling them you are from a border city. If you tell them you are from a border city they ask if you are an illegal immigrant or if you know of an illegal immigrant.

  5. Belldoorlover June 7, 2007 at 3:39 PM #

    I really like the giant mountain of rocks one. Its a great mental picture.

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