Cash: Don’t leave home without it (and other things I learned Friday night)

21 Aug

Mark the following statements either True or False:

____ 1. Money makes the world go round.
____ 2. Always carry cash, preferably in the amount needed to pay a cab fare.
____ 3. Honesty is always the best policy.
____ 4. You can always rely upon your friends.
____ 5. Hitchhiking is dangerous in this day and age.
____ 6. When in unknown territory, always have your home address on you.
____ 7. Late night Whataburger always tastes great.

Answer Key:

1. True. Money definitely makes the world go round, or at least it is needed to get you from Point A to Point B, especially if you are taking a cab home at the end of a long evening.
2. True. In the event that you must take a cab home, you should have a considerable amount of cash on you in case your cab does not have a credit card machine.
3. False. Honesty is not the best policy when you find yourself in a cab, are not able to tell the cab driver where to go, and realize that between you and your friend you have only five dollars. Honestly informing the driver of this situation will result in the screeching of brakes, the opening of the cab door, and a most dreaded statement (with a thick Romanian accent): “Get out of my cab!”
4. False. While in most cases you can rely upon your friends, do not ever expect them to answer the phone at three in the morning (after attending an open bar event) and come pick you up at the corner of Nowhere and Lost streets. You are definitely on your own here.
5. False. Well, this actually may be true. I mean, what kind of people would actually pick up two hitchhikers dressed in formal attire on the corner of Nowhere and Lost at three in the morning? And who would actually drive around Fort Worth, Texas for more than half an hour because the two hitchhikers they picked up have absolutely no idea where they are going and cannot remember the street address of where they need to be? Can such people really be trusted? Well, desperate times call for desperate measures, and sometimes you might just have to put out your thumb, climb in a car, and hope for the best.
6. True. Remember those kids in your kindergarten class whose mother, for some reason, put their addresses on every article of clothing, school supply, and lunchbox they owned? You probably made fun of them, but alas, they were on to something. If you find yourself hitchhiking through your hometown after a certain hour, it may be a good idea to have your address neatly written on a piece of paper within your purse, or perhaps even safety-pinned to your attire. This way, you can simply hand your address to the driver, and again, hope for the best.
7. True. Why is it that Whataburger rarely sounds appealing during daylight hours, but after midnight always sounds like a feast? Perhaps it’s because it’s the only place open, other than 7-11. Perhaps it’s because a cheeseburger and fries are ever-so-appetizing after a night on the town. Whatever the case may be, the drive-thru line after midnight is more often than not longer than it has been for the entire day, and after being kicked out of a cab, left upon a street corner for half an hour, hitchhiking through the streets of Fort Worth in a cocktail dress and pearls, and finally finding your way back to a friend’s house, Whataburger on the table is quite a sight for sore eyes, and a fabulous way to end a fabulous evening.

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10 Responses to “Cash: Don’t leave home without it (and other things I learned Friday night)”

  1. Noelle August 21, 2007 at 12:25 PM #

    I always write my address on my cash and then pin it to my bra. And I only eat fast food after a party, because that’s when I deserve it.

  2. Noelle August 21, 2007 at 12:25 PM #

    I always write my address on my cash and then pin it to my bra. And I only eat fast food after a party, because that’s when I deserve it.

  3. Anonymous August 22, 2007 at 6:47 AM #

    Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to hitchhike??? J/K. Sounds like a great night, I suppose.

  4. Anonymous August 22, 2007 at 6:47 AM #

    Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to hitchhike??? J/K. Sounds like a great night, I suppose.

  5. Pia August 27, 2007 at 3:36 AM #

    Crazy blonde woman!

  6. Pia August 27, 2007 at 3:36 AM #

    Crazy blonde woman!

  7. Anonymous September 26, 2007 at 10:40 PM #

    That is awesome. I knew exactly where your blog was going as soon as I saw “taxi” and “hitch hike” in the same entry. What you learned that evening is that you can count on your new friends to show you a good time, and then leave you in the middle of nowhere to think about it. Good times were had by all even in the face of adversity. – Lauren

  8. Anonymous September 26, 2007 at 10:40 PM #

    That is awesome. I knew exactly where your blog was going as soon as I saw “taxi” and “hitch hike” in the same entry. What you learned that evening is that you can count on your new friends to show you a good time, and then leave you in the middle of nowhere to think about it. Good times were had by all even in the face of adversity. – Lauren

  9. Anonymous November 20, 2007 at 3:01 AM #

    Ok, little Missy; you told me to read your blog & I am showing your Dad this little hitch hike episode. Are you insane? Have I not drilled into your head about Ted Bundy & other such people?

    You made a horrible error in hitching & I am calling the policia federales.

    I am fuming. Your poor Mother who knows nothing about hitch hiking and riptides, horrid murderers, tornades, ect.

  10. Anonymous November 20, 2007 at 3:01 AM #

    Ok, little Missy; you told me to read your blog & I am showing your Dad this little hitch hike episode. Are you insane? Have I not drilled into your head about Ted Bundy & other such people?You made a horrible error in hitching & I am calling the policia federales.I am fuming. Your poor Mother who knows nothing about hitch hiking and riptides, horrid murderers, tornades, ect.

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