Dating | Clementine’s Go at Match.com

12 Nov

What is the hardest tribulation about being single? The cliche answers with which one might initially respond – loneliness, boredom, being the third or fifth wheel – can actually be the most fabulous things about being single depending upon how you look at it (another day, another post). A better answer to this question, however, is actually much more apparent than one might think – the hardest thing about being single is quite simply finding a beau.

To illustrate this fact, I draw from the recent experience of my friend, Clementine Smith, who somewhat jokingly and very much curiously decided to have a go at match.com. This cyber-dating expenditure is a small example of the issues we face in reality when attempting to find Mr. or Mrs. Right. Match.com promises a perfect match, or six months free. I think the company should prepare itself for many IOUs, evident from the sampling of fellows with whom they attempted to match Miss. Clementine.

Take “Tommy” for example. His perfect idea of resolving conflict? “I must have a partner who will work to resolve rather than win arguments or conflicts within our relationship.” What this really means? “I am always right.”

Then there’s “Jesse”. His idea of a sexually compatible partner? “I must have someone who is mature and experienced as a potential sexual partner and is able to express himself/herself freely at all times.” Translation: “I look at a lot of porn.”

There was also “Frank” whose main priority is “rebuilding his ’67 Camaro” and “Nathan” who “cannot live without his truck.”

I’m sure these gentleman are lovely people, but in all honesty poor choices for my dear friend, who spends her alone time reading novels, going to museums, and watching French movies. Many (including my mother and Dr. Phil) might say “Don’t be so picky. You could end up missing out on a great guy.”

In one sense, perhaps they have a point – if we are looking only for Mr. Darcy, we might sadly end up with a Mr. Collins. Yet . . . with all the Wickhams in the dating pool, it might be better to hold out for a Captain Wentworth. And until such fictions become a reality, I suggest steering clear of cyber-space and enjoying the fabulousness of singledom. It’s truly not so bad.

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3 Responses to “Dating | Clementine’s Go at Match.com”

  1. Nerevised November 13, 2007 at 6:13 AM #

    “the hardest thing about being single is quite simply finding a beau.”

    There is not a better way to put this. Is it ok if I quote you? I completely agree, but have not managed to express this thought as succintly as you just did.

    Excellent! (and thanks for friending me)

  2. Hope November 13, 2007 at 9:37 PM #

    Mr. Darcy…(heartsick sigh)…Captain Wentworth…(even BIGGER heartsick sigh).

    Anyway, my two cents: I say never waste your time with someone who is obviously not what you want. Dates are like calories. Why waste the calories on vanilla soft serve when what you really want is Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food. Save your calorie alotment for what you really want. 🙂

    But…my cousin did meet his wife on Match.com and she’s great, so…you never know.

  3. Anika November 15, 2007 at 5:26 AM #

    Oh, I’d love to be quoted! And yes, I agree – double heartsick sigh to Mr. Darcy – especially if he looks like the A&E version of the tale . . .

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